Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Dec 28, 2019 13:59:50 GMT
I kind of agree, however in my experience not all people who consider themselves critics critique, some simply criticize.
One example would be my mother offering her 'critique of a story I was working on back in the '90s. She read through what I had [before corrections for spelling and grammar -- I've slowed down a lot on key pounding since], all the while going "mmm, mmm, mmm". When she was finished she solemnly announce: "This is crap nobody will read. As far as I'm concerned your writing will always be crap."
Funny thing about my mother's pronouncement, the other people who had a chance to read that story before I put it away liked it and wanted the finished product.
That said I've seen some writing samples where the best thing I could say was the story had potential, but the writer needed to brush up on the basics before considering the work finished.
A true critic practices critical thinking which includes objectivity.
Yay, Mom! Well, I hope you finished the story, published it, sold a million copies and bought her a new house to rub her nose in it.
Actually I never finished the story in question. Due to her attitude toward me [and the fact she could never admit to being wrong about anything, ever] it wasn't long after that I got as far away from my mother as I could.
The fact is after I relocated I never spoke to her again and only found out she'd died a couple years after the fact. Sometimes the best thing to do is not be around to aggravate someone who will never have a positive opinion about you as it helps you avoid a lot of negativity.
As for sales of my work, all told for all books is under one hundred copies. I think I've made about $50 in royalties without benefit of marketing and advertising, which is something I can't afford at this point in life.
Owch. Sorry about that. FWIW, my Mom never knew I wrote a thing. Maybe she'll find out before it's too late but her eyesight prevents her from reading now anyway...
No need to be sorry, as my mother decided when it came to her relationship with me it was better to burn that bridge before we crossed it. Her psychology was mostly a direct result of my maternal grandmother's psychology aided by my older sister setting me up to take a fall for things she did.
I have a son who turns 40 next month month, per my mother I've never sired or parented a child. Were she still alive I could show her birth certificates for my youngest three as well as the marriage license and my mother would claim they were fakes. She did that when I showed her an official transcript from when I went to college, claiming I was lying and the transcript was fake.
The reason is per her mother because I looked like my father's kin I was automatically a liar and cheat, and my older sister's setups didn't help. It's a long convoluted story, but the good news is I survived and that is what matters. My kids not having to deal with my parents and some of their attitudes is a blessing.
I learned human psychology the hard way in case you're wondering. I've dealt with psychopaths and people who had committed manslaughter and they could never comprehend why I'd just look through them and smile when threatened.
Regarding your mother and your writing, unless you're estranged you might try reading to her.
I might, but she doesn't like poetry and that's about all I write at this point (or publish, anyway).
I'm not a clinical psychologist, I haven't played one on TV, but I have interacted with a few psychologists and I have had a few people tell me I helped them avoid suicide, which doesn't mean squat as far as I'm concerned.
If you and your mother have a normal familial relationship read some of your work to her, past current, or whatever -- odds are she'll be glad to know even if it isn't her preferred genre. Most normal mothers will take an interest in what their child is doing even if it's something they normally wouldn't go for.
Sphinx-Cameron. I majored in art but also had to teach English which encompassed grammar and creative writing. I used to focus on the story that the children had written, not on the spelling. Some children wrote excellent stories, but were put off by all that red ink.I wanted to encourage their creative talents and I feel it is possible to have positive critiques which are helpful. I remember when I joined a group of writers. (I was used to writing compositions, articles and exams but had just started creative writing) I was so put off by the negative, unhelpful comments that I gave up writing and left that group. Fortunately Kevin (Remember him from the old forum) persuaded me to continue writing. I joined a writing group, and and continued making books with Lulu. (My creative writing has improved but I've still got a long way to go) Helpful critiques are welcomed by me, but people have to be careful of what they say. I'm so glad you continued with your writing in spite of what your mother said.
Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Jan 3, 2020 16:49:28 GMT
Aye, there is a huge difference between a critique and criticism. As for my mother, she was who she was for better or worse.
I never did get a degree, enough hours to be equivalent to an Associate's, and almost half those hours were from testing out on subjects to get the credits. And no, I'm not a genius, I've been tested though it was after I'd hoisted a few pints [enough to be talked into it each time] because I truly abhor that type of testing.
I remember Kevin, it's good he was able to get you to keep writing.
I remember Kevin, it's good he was able to get you to keep writing. SphinxCameron, Kevin made many enemies in the old forum (particularly Ken.Their arguments were quite turbulent) However both Kevin and Ken helped a lot of people in lulu.com. Kevin told me that Ken had died. Kevin is still around. He joined this forum but hasn't commented so far.
I love that phrase "has his ways". It's so kind. Some poeple would have been much harsher. Kevin is English and although he had some fierce arguments with several people, he maintained the old British tradition of not being rude. Kevin was never mean, abusive or rude. He just loves lively arguments!!!
Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Jan 13, 2020 10:56:41 GMT
I spent enough time during my formative years in the Southern US, and saying someone has their ways isn't necessarily kind. I've also dealt with enough people from England to wonder why I too often had to deal with those who didn't maintain that British tradition of not being rude. I've met some very nice English, but I've met more than a few who needed some remedial instruction in civility.
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