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Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Mar 11, 2020 20:22:27 GMT
Maggie,
What I'm currently working combines tidbits of my past experience extrapolated to bring life to a character whose life would be far more interesting than mine ever could be. Even if I did try to write a memoir, I doubt anyone would find it believable because no matter how factual I may get, most people have difficulty suspending their disbelief simply due to the reason it makes them uncomfortable.
Ever wonder why old veterans rarely speak of their wartime experiences? Ever ask why so many children, teenagers, and / or young adults these days are opting for suicide rather than life? Ever wonder what goes into the 'thousand-yard stare'?
One common ingredient to all three is someone going to a hell society doesn't prepare its young for, then those individuals having to return to the 'normal sane' world of puppies and kittens as if nothing happened [because that's what society expects to happen]. Once someone has been on a walking tour of hell and brought some of it back [in the form of all the horribly dead puppies and dead kittens seen in far too vivid memories], 'opting out' is often seen as preferable to trying to talk to people who can't relate, and who often can't comprehend just how horrific the returnee's experience was.
For those returnees from hell who find a new 'bearable' [as opposed to regaining a subjective 'normal'], it can take a long time to set aside self-destructive habits and allow raw memories to at least partially scar over.
In my view it's better if people who've never experienced some of what I have don't read all the details, [that sense of going to hell and bringing some of it back is something to not inflict in large doses on others].
Besides, pity is irrelevant while 'compassion' without substance [which does not effect change for the better] is useless.
I've also seen just how much mercy most humans are willing to offer those they hold power over, the amount is underwhelmingly contemptibly negligible.
That's interesting. The realities are so completely different. It's like I said to my brother a little while ago; it's like someone coming back from war and their neighbour complaining about the uncut grass in their yard. Maggie,
You kind of have a vaguely general idea of the situation, I can promise you understanding the opposing realities can be a heavy burden. It's not easy really understanding what that thousand-yard stare actually means, and knowing that the survivors have to find their own path back, or not. It doesn't matter the reason, the context, or the age when said trauma occurred, the hell of vile memories as refuse to subside is a very personal torment, which is the reason so many returnees turn to alcohol and other drugs -- trying to recapture a 'normal' life while retaining those memories is an incredibly difficult, at times near hopeless task.
At any rate, I do not have the requisite skill to smith the story as would effect a change so that others might truly grasp the differing contexts better. Perhaps if I had another 200 to 300 years to observe I might have gained enough insight, but life is what it is, short and complicated.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2020 21:41:03 GMT
That's interesting. The realities are so completely different. It's like I said to my brother a little while ago; it's like someone coming back from war and their neighbour complaining about the uncut grass in their yard. Maggie,
You kind of have a vaguely general idea of the situation, I can promise you understanding the opposing realities can be a heavy burden. It's not easy really understanding what that thousand-yard stare actually means, and knowing that the survivors have to find their own path back, or not. It doesn't matter the reason, the context, or the age when said trauma occurred, the hell of vile memories as refuse to subside is a very personal torment, which is the reason so many returnees turn to alcohol and other drugs -- trying to recapture a 'normal' life while retaining those memories is an incredibly difficult, at times near hopeless task.
At any rate, I do not have the requisite skill to smith the story as would effect a change so that others might truly grasp the differing contexts better. Perhaps if I had another 200 to 300 years to observe I might have gained enough insight, but life is what it is, short and complicated.
Just a simple story, yours. It doesn't have to effect global change, maybe just touch one life.
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Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Mar 11, 2020 22:54:14 GMT
Maggie,
You kind of have a vaguely general idea of the situation, I can promise you understanding the opposing realities can be a heavy burden. It's not easy really understanding what that thousand-yard stare actually means, and knowing that the survivors have to find their own path back, or not. It doesn't matter the reason, the context, or the age when said trauma occurred, the hell of vile memories as refuse to subside is a very personal torment, which is the reason so many returnees turn to alcohol and other drugs -- trying to recapture a 'normal' life while retaining those memories is an incredibly difficult, at times near hopeless task.
At any rate, I do not have the requisite skill to smith the story as would effect a change so that others might truly grasp the differing contexts better. Perhaps if I had another 200 to 300 years to observe I might have gained enough insight, but life is what it is, short and complicated.
Just a simple story, yours. It doesn't have to effect global change, maybe just touch one life. What you ask for is self-contradictory as there are no 'simple' stories. I have touched more lives than I care to consider, and for each one who has said said my efforts kept them from dying, there is an added burden -- it doesn't stop. and there are many more whom I have failed, because I am incapable of fully understanding those I am dealing with.
We [as in our line or House] are meant to serve, protect, and when necessary assist, and most of us do exactly that without question.
People like us quit dreaming small when Rome fell, because to dream or attempt small means you will achieve nothing.
Do not seek to ask of me a task for which my replacements are more likely better suited, for I am deeply flawed in more ways than I care contemplate, and in ways I'm not certain I can explain in a way you will understand, and as intelligent as Ron Miller is I fear I am too deficient to explain it to him. I have a very clear perspective of who or rather what I am as compared to them.
The eldest may be ready in roughly 12 years, depending upon her decision based upon her experience. There are too many variables for me to know with any great statistical probability.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2020 13:57:42 GMT
I'm not ignoring what you just said, but I see everything through a book filter. And your writing is like candy.
This is your first line:
People like us quit dreaming small when Rome fell.
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Post by benziger on Mar 12, 2020 14:36:19 GMT
What I'm currently working combines tidbits of my past experience extrapolated to bring life to a character whose life would be far more interesting than mine ever could be. Even if I did try to write a memoir, I doubt anyone would find it believable because no matter how factual I may get, most people have difficulty suspending their disbelief simply due to the reason it makes them uncomfortable. Sphinx-Cameron, this reminds me of a well-known children's book: The Turnach Children by Ida Bindschedler. There she processed her memories of her childhood. Ida Bindschedler was born in 1854. So what she and her four siblings experienced was about 1860-1870, and she condensed it all into a single year. From 1906 (1st edition) to about 1980 it was probably the most famous book for young people in Switzerland after Heidi by Johanna Spyri. I devoured the book. I think its success is based on condensing the whole childhood of all siblings into a single year. So there is always something going on and the story remains exciting from the first to the last page. Sometimes bright, sometimes sad, sometimes normal. But always exciting.
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Post by ronmiller on Mar 12, 2020 16:09:17 GMT
I'm not ignoring what you just said, but I see everything through a book filter. And your writing is like candy. This is your first line: People like us quit dreaming small when Rome fell.And that is an absolute stunner of an opening line!
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Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Mar 12, 2020 21:44:54 GMT
Maggie,
My writing being like candy is on purpose, meant to pull the reader in when it's been properly done. But my life story, in book form, would be too much a mix of horror, terror, and irony. Add in a liberal portion of boredom to whatever adventure, because adventure tends to be 90% tedious boredom and 10% being ready to wet your pants from all the stuff going down at once. Season with sorrow and a large dose of agony then let it simmer, and simmer.
I'm afraid if during a bad point, someone with that thousand-yard stare read the memoir you suggest, they would opt-out because unlike a novel with the HEA [Happily Ever After] ending, that hasn't been my life though there are happy moments now due to the work still being in progress, yet I do tend to be honest. Hearing that even after many decades those reminders of past trauma can still be almost as fresh as the moment they happened isn't the best message to hand a soul already in torment. That's a burden, especially if it were to happen multiple times, I'm not certain I could accept. Information like actions don't exist part from each other like atoms in a vacuum, they are connected and each have consequences, at time lethal consequences.
Benziger,
Due to personal experience I can only dimly comprehend the concept of a normal childhood, it seems fairly fantastical to me but I can and do accept that others had a radically different context during childhood. It may be that my perspective on what constitutes 'exciting' is different than most peoples'.
Ron,
Maggie holds talent like a sculptor holds hammer and chisel.
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Post by ronmiller on Mar 13, 2020 11:26:23 GMT
Ron, Maggie holds talent like a sculptor holds hammer and chisel. Indeed she does.
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Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Mar 13, 2020 13:56:13 GMT
Ron, Maggie holds talent like a sculptor holds hammer and chisel. Indeed she does. Ron,
Impressive the way she zeroed in on an offhand comment [like a peregrine stooping to take a pigeon] that I didn't think twice about.
At any rate I reworked the original version slightly to better fit the context of what I'm currently working on, and it is the opening line.
Sixty-four pages [6x9 format] since last Friday morning, not great but a start since my hands no longer do ~70 words a minute.
A tip of the hat to both Maggie and you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2020 16:52:33 GMT
Maggie, My writing being like candy is on purpose, meant to pull the reader in when it's been properly done. But my life story, in book form, would be too much a mix of horror, terror, and irony. Add in a liberal portion of boredom to whatever adventure, because adventure tends to be 90% tedious boredom and 10% being ready to wet your pants from all the stuff going down at once. Season with sorrow and a large dose of agony then let it simmer, and simmer. I'm afraid if during a bad point, someone with that thousand-yard stare read the memoir you suggest, they would opt-out because unlike a novel with the HEA [Happily Ever After] ending, that hasn't been my life though there are happy moments now due to the work still being in progress, yet I do tend to be honest. Hearing that even after many decades those reminders of past trauma can still be almost as fresh as the moment they happened isn't the best message to hand a soul already in torment. That's a burden, especially if it were to happen multiple times, I'm not certain I could accept. Information like actions don't exist part from each other like atoms in a vacuum, they are connected and each have consequences, at time lethal consequences. Benziger, Due to personal experience I can only dimly comprehend the concept of a normal childhood, it seems fairly fantastical to me but I can and do accept that others had a radically different context during childhood. It may be that my perspective on what constitutes 'exciting' is different than most peoples'. Ron, Maggie holds talent like a sculptor holds hammer and chisel. Ohhh, Cameron, what a nice compliment.
I will see you as a zombie survivor amidst a falling Rome from now on. Delectable.
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Post by Retread-Retired-Cameron on Mar 13, 2020 21:24:06 GMT
Maggie, My writing being like candy is on purpose, meant to pull the reader in when it's been properly done. But my life story, in book form, would be too much a mix of horror, terror, and irony. Add in a liberal portion of boredom to whatever adventure, because adventure tends to be 90% tedious boredom and 10% being ready to wet your pants from all the stuff going down at once. Season with sorrow and a large dose of agony then let it simmer, and simmer. I'm afraid if during a bad point, someone with that thousand-yard stare read the memoir you suggest, they would opt-out because unlike a novel with the HEA [Happily Ever After] ending, that hasn't been my life though there are happy moments now due to the work still being in progress, yet I do tend to be honest. Hearing that even after many decades those reminders of past trauma can still be almost as fresh as the moment they happened isn't the best message to hand a soul already in torment. That's a burden, especially if it were to happen multiple times, I'm not certain I could accept. Information like actions don't exist part from each other like atoms in a vacuum, they are connected and each have consequences, at time lethal consequences. Benziger, Due to personal experience I can only dimly comprehend the concept of a normal childhood, it seems fairly fantastical to me but I can and do accept that others had a radically different context during childhood. It may be that my perspective on what constitutes 'exciting' is different than most peoples'. Ron, Maggie holds talent like a sculptor holds hammer and chisel. Ohhh, Cameron, what a nice compliment.
I will see you as a zombie survivor amidst a falling Rome from now on. Delectable.
Ah, well I was just making an observation about something readily apparent. I remember telling someone "Good Morning" and getting the contents of a coffee cup thrown in my face. I have tended to hesitate about appearing to be complementary or overly familiar ever since.
It might be better if you saw me as an older obsolete but still functional member of a lineage that the majority of humanity would rather see consigned to a dead past they usually have little comprehension of. It's a somewhat more accurate description.
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